One way for an adult to survive in a dog eats dog society today is to speak sugar coated words without having a sugar filled heart.
Romanticists, idealists or people believe in true love think money cannot buy love.
It is true.
But the reality in our society told us:
Money cannot buy love, but it can buy the illusion of love, which can last, forever…
“Fashions Fade, Style is Eternal.”-Yves Saint Laurent
Go walk around the top clubs in Mayfair at night, we see women have figures but no style, men have money but no taste…
look around, old men and young women,
do you really think those young women love their sugar daddies?
or those old men love their “sweet” candies?
but believe me, they aren’t the fools.
They know what they sacrifice, so they know what they shall get;
they know what they spent, so they know what they could consume.
Perhaps we could slightly twist what YSL said, in the bling bling world, “Passions Fade, Slut is Eternal…”.
All rights reserved @Midnight Neisense
The cat got neutered, left a palm-twitching Lily wondering how could such a decent man (apparently her ideal husband) being so coldheartedly just wanting to take it as a “one time thing”!? -the ending of my previous story “Don’t Blame the Horny Cat“… However, this wasn’t really the end of the story between the naive Lily and the poor German dude Johannes. Johannes might has made his point strikingly clear that he doesn’t want string attached when it comes to sexual relationships, until he got seduced by Lily’s forbidden fruit…
I really wanted to tell the stubborn Lily that her feeling towards Johannes was merely based on her naive imagination of an ideal husband. she didn’t know this person at all! I know the only way to make Lily realize this fact is to make her see him again. Lily wanted him back, for the unpromisingly and stupidly naive thought of a possible future (which I think it’s more nonsense than my Neisense). I wanted Johannes back once in Lily’s life to let her see clearly that this man she likes is just “an ideal” that she constructed in her mind, it’s the image she styled with her own tastes preferences. But on the other hand, Johannes is the epitome of an asshole investment banker who fools women with his decent charming looks, and seemingly gentleman behaviors, plus the mechanical style shags that never pleases women (instead turn women into machines as well), good thing about mechanical shags…I think…emmmm never out of batteries! This guy, needs to be punished…
I suggested Lily to try my “Thursday Strategy” (which mentioned in my previous article “Woops of Wall Street”)-to send Johannes an erotique text on Thursday evening, when he was mostly exhausted from the week’s work and started looking forward to the weekend. So Lily did, on a Thursday evening…she sent Johannes this at 20:40:
“Are you still at your desk? Have you imagined a woman coming into your office at this hour in her trench coat? She has nothing underneath, only corset. She pushes you against the desk, whips you with her magic whip…When you guys have sex, all the indexes disordered, all the equities fell, even Bloomberg collapses and Wall Street couldn’t sleep…”
at 23:44…sleepy eyed Lily heard a buzz on her phone…
“You are not making working easy.” Johannes replies…
“I am sure I cheered you up:D” (23:45)
“At least you put an interesting picture in my heard.” (23:49)
3 minutes later another text from Johannes:
“You certainly have interesting fantasies… Any other picture you want to put in my head?” (23:51)
Lily: “Well, I am crazy enough to make fantasies into reality” (00:17)
Johannes: “Tonight pictures will have to do…wouldn’t mind a real picture though…” (00:19)
Lily: “Better to see in real life than picture, isn’t it?” (00:22)
Johannes:”True.” (00:25) “Unfortunately stuck in the office.”(00:32)
Lily: “Surely your office really need to be fuelled with some danger and desire…” (00:47)
Johannes:”It’s not the most inspiring environment… So quite hard to get your kind of thoughts here.” (1:05)
Lily: “Well, you need that kind of environment, to work hard and get paid well, so you can appreciate those extra and also extraordinary things in life more… such as…Midnight Sushi…” (1:12) (This is totally my invention, not Lily’s!)
Johannes: “midnight sushi? I guess you didn’t mean sushi per se?” (1:13)
Lily:” clever. I mean some guys like you, just need someone who could display sushi on their bodies to wait for their Sausage the Great to come back home to enjoy the sushi feast at night.” (1:14) (again, Display sushi on their bodies might be inspired by what Samantha Jones did in the SATC movie, but “Sausage the Great” is the term that I invented, inspired by, “Alexander the Great” obviously.)
Johannes: “Wouldn’t mind some midnight sushi…” (1:15)
Lily didn’t reply to that one, she was extremely tired and couldn’t help to fall asleep….she saw Johannes’ message the next morning, “What would be the chef’s speciality?” (1:45)—-I guess if any sushi shops opened at that hour near Canary Wharf, it could be really handy for those late night workers, well, if there are any “Midnight Sushi” places open at that hour, it could be even more handy for those investment bankers, isn’t it?
I asked Lily not to contact Johannes for a week, and send him a message again the Thursday after see what he’s up to…
Week Two, Thursday evening…
OK, Let’s execute our Thursday strategy again…but this mission got disrupted by our gay friend Jeremy’s warm invitation to meet him and his colleagues for drinks at private members club in Mayfair. Neither Lily and I been to that place before, so the invitation sounds irresistible. I know Lily has gone through a mental debate in her head that “Tonight might be the night to see the German Sausage again!”, but I told her that, “The Sausage might be great, but all the indexes and figures suggest that the market is performing healthier!” (means the same as the old quote that “Don’t give up the whole forest for one little tree!) “I heard there are 500 different types of sausages in Germany!” I smiled to Lily slyly.
Jeremy introduced us to his friends at the club, “Hi! I am Neinei!” I ‘shouted’ to his colleagues, the music is too loud…
“Hi! Miu Miu!” (Neinei!) one of his friend smiled back…”Jeremy, How long you’ve known Miu Miu for?”
Jeremy,”We’ve known each other long enough. Neinei and I know each other intimately…”
emmmm intimately, this is gay….
“Oh! that’s old friends then… so Miu Miu…. what do you do?”………
The night isn’t particularly long, but I know Lily is anxious about her falling-off “master plan”…
“what about just send him a text see if he wants some ‘midnight sushi’?” I suggested…
We couldn’t get any signal at the club, Lily checked her phone when she went out for a cigarette…
“Ooooh! he replied…he said ‘On a diet tonight’!” Lily told us when she came back.
Jeremy’s mouth wide-open,”Ooooh…’on a diet tonight’…what a rejection!”
“Oh, I think he might be just too busy with his work, don’t think so much… remember, he is a fucking investment banker! but that’s such a good reply, isn’t it? He is smart!”, I actually quite like the way he responds to the texts…
“text him: That’s absolutely a healthy choice!”, I suggested.
Around 2 o’clock, we left the club….finally we all got signals back on our phone…
“It’s such a lovely evening Jeremy! Nice to meet you ladies! Bye Lily! Bye Miu Miu!” (Neinei!!!) Jeremy’s friend dropped kisses on our cheeks and waved us goodbye…
“so he asked ‘assuming you are already sleep’ at 1:40″, Lily showed us Johannes’ message…
Holy shit… he just finished work at 1:40am… oh dear, I can understand why those investment bankers chose kinky sex to release their pressure when they are off work….
It’s fine then… seems Johannes is still interested, we suggested Lily to leave it this week and give him an ultimate bomb next week! that’s the plan.
I invented “three dishes” for the “menu” that Lily could send to Johannes the Thursday after.. It’s based on my personal experience and creativity:) The inspiration was merely from the lingerie items that I have in my drawer… I have a cream colour corset from Agent Provocateur, looks sexy and innocent at the same time, not so revealing, you could even wear it out to a night club… so it’s “Creme de la Lost of Innocence”…I have another corset from La Perla, it can also used as outer-wear, looks good with black boots, so it’s “Dark Knight’s Dark Night Kinky Lush” and the last item, I told Lily that she could borrow is a pink Kimono pyjama wrap that I bought at the cheap price of £5 from eBay…so that’s “Forbidden Fruits by the Geisha from the Orient”…We suggested Lily to list these three “dishes” on the “menu” and see which one Johannes wants to choose…
so Week Three…
Johannes’ phone buzzed at 21:20, when he was still at his desk in the evil American bank…
“Hi! How’s your appetite after being on a diet last week? Maybe you should make a reservation to treat yourself a little bit..” (21:20)
“Three are three dishes you can choose:
-Dark Night’s Dark Night Kinky Lush
-Creme de la Lost of Innocence
-Forbidden Fruit by the Geisha from the Orient”(20:21)
“Take a guess which one is more kinky, which ones tastes better and which one has a longer lasting flavor?” (21:21)
Johannes: “What a menu…Hard to choose” (21:22)
“Forbidden fruits sound most tempting to me, you wanna elaborate on those?”(21:24)
Oh Yes! I can finally make the poem I wrote ages ago a well use, although not for my own benefit…but I just so thrilled to show up my one and only talent-writing erotic texts:)
So Lily told Johannes that “Forbidden fruit is something you eat in the deep deep darkness, but forbidden fruit is really rare..It is planted by a Geisha from the Orient, it can only harvest and ripe under one circumstance” (of course, I instructed Lily to write this)
Johannes, “Interesting..What circumstance?”(21:37)
Lily copied and pasted the poem I wrote and sent it to Johannes, “Oh there is a very nice story behind it:
Once upon a time,
There is a geisha from the Orient,
She planted some forbidden fruits in the Black Forest,
but the forbidden fruits can only ripe if the Geisha could have three her favourite things from Germany!
Haribo, Riesling and German Sausage.
Day after day, the Geisha lost in the Black Forest,
She ate all the Haribo, drunk all the Riesling, but still no German Sausage…
Suddenly one day, she saw a ray of light!
Ahhh! She found a German Sausage!
Once the geisha put the whole German Sausage in her mouth, the days turn bright in the Black Forest…
Since then, the flowers blossomed and forbidden fruit ripen in the Black Forest…” (21:58)
Johannes, “very nice… the geisha seems to be quite into the German Sausage..but the forbidden fruit does sound delicious..Maybe I should try it.”(22:05)
Fireworks lighten up in Lily’s mind…
Lily, “They say it’s an odd and exotic flavor, brave of you willing to try it out…” (22:18)
Johannes, “Sure! I can bring the sausage as long as you prepare the fruit…”(22:24)
Oooooh Holy shit…..
Lily turned to us, “Oh dear, what shall I do? I haven’t shaved!!!”
oh we didn’t expect that German Sausage really willing to try the forbidden fruit on that night!
“oh Lily! you can just quickly shave and borrow Neinei’s sexy kimono wrap…”, Jeremy said…
“5 pounds Kimono pyjama wrap!”, I smiled back at him…
“Awww! don’t forget to take the 5-pounds price tag off!” Jeremy joked…
Lily went to the bathroom to shave herself…
Johannes sent another text, “Any Special wishes on how you like the sausage?” (00:35)
I shouted to Lily who was at the bathroom shaving… “anything you want to say to him?”
Lily, “ohh…. I hope the sausage could live up to the great reputation of its brand, keep physically fresh and intellectually exciting, and quite importantly, make sure it’s not getting over burned by the evil American bank.” I texted as what Lily said to Johannes (00:56)
Johannes, “That’s all under control… The sausage just needs someone to get excited..”(00:55)
Ooooh holy shit… He suddenly changed into another person… I logged onto Lily’s Tinder and grasped the photos of this Sausage quickly… He smiled his decent-looking banker-ish smile and gazed back in one of his picture….I shook my head and handed over the phone to Lily…
Lily, “What flavors you can add to the sausage? I am sure forbidden fruit is one flavor that can accompany the sausage…
Johannes, “I think that could work…as long as the forbidden fruit is served hot..Simply the thought of the deliciousness gets me excited…”(1:02)
Lily, “you chose the right dish tonight… it’s the best one on the menu.” (1:05) (well, this is because Neinei hasn’t really thought about the poems that could accompany the other two “dishes”)
Johannes, “I still have to taste it and might want to try the other dishes as well…Especially since all seem to go quite well with the sausage…” (1:07)
O.M.G…. this guy totally changed into another person within a few texts…. Both Jeremy and I shocked…
Johannes, “Right now I would actually share this fruit and a sausage, but all I have at hand is the sausage…I think it might be a bit hard right now, I hope that’s OK for you.” (1:25)
O.M.G…Both Jeremy and I took a deep breath…
Johannes, “What’s your favourite way to consume the sausage? Personally I like to put it in a wet forbidden fruit…” (1:40)
Lily turned to us, “what could I say?”
Me, “Fusion! Forbidden fruit coated German Sausage? That’s a fusion dish!!!”
Lily handed her phone to me, I typed, “Wet forbidden fruit coated German Sausage? That’s a fusion.:D Fusion dishes is really in right now, didn’t you notice?:)” (1:42)
Johannes,”yes, because it worked very well together.:) If you only have the sausage, you have to imagine the forbidden fruit, which is not even half as nice…How is the fruit doing right now?” (1:46)
I said to Lily, “just say the forbidden fruit is a bit too juicy and watery, I am not sure if you’d like that”..
message sent at 1:52..
Johannes, “I also like the juicy fruit… In fact I bet if you play with it a bit, it will get more juicy and watery…” (1:56)
Jeremy, Lily and I all took a deep breath….
“I think you could ask him to come over now…” I suggested…
So the rest of the story as you could imagine… Jeremy kindly advised, “Don’t forget to take the 5-pound price tag off!”…
In the end, Johannes, the five-star jet-setter, 1 star Michelin-diner, lost himself to the sensation that created by the 5 pounds kimono pyjama…
and Lily, by seeing Johannes another time, and experienced another mechanical shag… finally realized she might has the great ability to create an ideal in her mind and lost interests in Johannes afterwards…
PS: few weeks later…
I encouraged Lily to send my blog to Johannes…Lily was quite concerning about the ‘ideal husband’ content might freak Johannes out for life…she asked me to slightly modify my article before she could present it to him… Ok, I did delete some quotes which indicates Lily’s affection towards Johannes and her ideal future with him (erhhhhhhh…..) but I forgot to delete one important sentence…”They had a mechanical shag on that night.” >_<
It was a usual Thursday evening that Johannes still stuck in his office in the evil American bank… he got Lily’s message, out of curiosity, he opened the link…..
“What the fuck!!?? she asked her friend to write me online!!!???”, Johannes frown, out of angry, he wanted to close the site, but he couldn’t help himself to read it further…
“What?!?!?!? I only met her couple of times, she already think I am her IDEAL HUSBAND!??!???””
he scrolled, scrolled, scrolled…..
“Fuck me! she thinks so deep about it…”
he scrolled, scrolled, scrolled….
“Oh Fuck me!!! she thinks so deep about it!…”
until his eyes hooked to one sentence: “They had a mechanical shag…”
“What the fuck!???!???” that word “mechanical” penetrated in his eyes, his mind, his every single cells, like a hardcore penetration during sex without foreplay… he felt he finally got the feeling of what it is like to be fucked…
“What the fuck!!! and she told everyone that I am bad in bed?!!?!??” oh fuck… Block!
Johannes couldn’t read it further, shock, angry, fist…
he tried to calm himself down at his desk… he stood up, walked to the restroom… splashed water on his face… he looked into the mirror, saw two horror eyes.. “that is a bitch!” splashed water on his face again…
he walked back to his desk and immerse himself in the endless data, buried himself in the tomb of the evil American bank, he felt it was probably the safest place he could be…
All Rights Reserved @Midnight Neisense
“What was your favourite subject at school”? A password reminder question. Mine were Art and Politics. Looks like an unusual combination, but the idea of “Art is Politics, Politics is Art” is not new. I never liked Science subjects, I can never understand the philosophy lies in Mathematics or the thrills one can get from studying human organs. Physics and Chemistry were two of my weakest subjects. Luckily, we could choose our favourite subjects at A-levels under the British education system, and we could also forward our interests to turn it into a degree in xxx.
Perhaps Physics and Chemistry were two of my weakest subjects. Surprisingly, when I grow up, I feel they are still two of my weakest subjects in life. Note here, not “subject”(noun. a branch of knowledge studied or taught in a school, college or university), but “subject”(noun. a person or thing that is being discussed, described or dealt with. Synonyms: matter, issue, concern)….
I feel in life, I’ve been not so good at physics (noun.the physical properties and phenomena of something), hardly experience chemistry (noun. the complex emotional or psychological interaction between people); even I would like to show off my art skills, such as the art of sales, the art of pursuation or the art of seduction, a lot of times I failed painfully. I only get used to see things from a political view (Thanks to my BA Political Science degree), I enjoy observing power relations (perhaps this was because the first lesson I had at university was “Power”, not because I had a crush on Tony Blair, and fantasized about him when I was young).
Shall we use “What was your favourite subject” as a question to remind us what you think is the most important thing in human relations? Your password for finding the right one, the right path, the life that could fulfill yourself?
Then, “chemistry” can only sustain affections that are not going to last for ages, “physics” can only remain a relationship on a sexual level. Once, someone asks me “if we have chemistry, why you need to look for other men?” Babe, chemistry makes me look at you now, but it’s not enough for me to look at you forever. Remember there are also micro-economics, macro-economics and domestic politics to concern. Who rules, how to rule and what’s the rule? We need to combine all those factors together. Taken the joint subjects of politics and physics, in a democratic regime, we enjoy our equality and the freedom of express ourselves; in a totalitarian state, we could one be the “master”, the other be the “slave”. Democratic regime is the best one to have at your living rooms, totalitarian system could be more fun to have in your bedrooms (we know the first line of our Chinese national rhythm is “Get up! people who don’t want to be slaves”, no in the bedroom, we shall sing “get up! if you want to be my slave!”). Anarchy is also good, but could result as a mess.
When we are young and wild, we could just concentrate on one or two subjects, or have fun with different ones that each could offer you the best tuition and expression in a chosen subject you concern. Eventually, we all want to settle down and get married. Truth is both men and women would evaluate the other person’s performance/talents in all those subjects rather than “recruiting” her or him because they are the specialists in one are. Tho each of us has a different standard to weigh up which is more important and which ones we could compromise.
Even when we are choosing a career, we are weight up those “subject”-Chemistry: do I love this job from our heart? Physics: Can I stand the long working hours? Economics: Money! Politics and Sociology: does it give me the social status and offer me the social aspect I want? Psychology: Will I gone mental? Will my boss drives me crazy? (LOL) Art: would it stimulate my talents?
Therefore, I think in education, we could succeed if we choose to be a specialist in one area, the area that you are really passionate about or really good at. Whereas in life, we need to concern more than one subject when we choose a partner, a career or whatever. The selection process is never a one-way system, so it’s better to try to be a jack of all trades without being a master of none.
It’s 2014. Do we still talk about “Sex and the City“? It’s such a classic that can never go out of style. Watched it when I was a Chinese teenager girl who was still in ugly school uniform, re-watched it at English boarding school with the girls, replayed it when I want to find a background noise to tidy my rooms. SATC is a legendary TV episodes that influenced a generation womanhood.
Believe it or not, even I enjoyed SATC, I think it’s totally annoying if women like those characters live in our real life. I could stand all other three, but I certainly couldn’t stand Carrie. I am not going to repeat reasons why she’s so annoying here as you could find lots of articles written on how annoying she is on Internet. Having a friend like Carrie in real life is a total headache, the ones who can be extremely tolerant with all her dramas, clinginess, ridiculousness, self-consciousness and fucked up neediness can only be unreal TV characters. Who could ever stand someone who actually bring so much negative energy? Imagine a real “Carrie” in your life who would confront someone just based on the look she gave her, moaning to you about strangers women who look at her bags with unpleasant looks. Come on, life is too short to be surrounded with a “Carrie” and think like a “Carrie”. I know some women who watched SATC would found some part of Carrie in their own characters, but as I said reality shall be differentiated from TV dramas, and I think that when it comes to friendships or sex relationships, we need to keep calm but not “carrie” on. There’s no necessity to dramatize your life so much, and it is always better to keep an involving social distance from drama queens.
Even I am writing a blog about urban relationships and cosmopolitan womanhood, every bits of shit observation of our society at large, I think women (or men) shouldn’t like Carrie who has so many “couldn’t help but wonder”. If these “couldn’t help but wonder” is curiosities about social phenomenon or meanings of life, it triggers your eagerness to learn. If these “wonders” are about another person’s behavior in a sexual relationship, it will turn into a disaster and constant state of feeling annoyed, without reaching a solution to the problem. For example, read too much into someone’s texts, over think about someone’s reactions, these acts would never solve any problems but stress yourself out. As I grow older, I slowly learnt the un-necesseity to read too much into someone’s texts. Sometimes, it’s not always about “he is not that into you” debate when someone slowly respond or doesn’t call you on time. It’s down to their habits of texting, contacting and interacting with people. If a man is free, it’s not gonna take him too much energy to text you everyday, while texting other women as well; if a man is busy, he might be too busy to contact you, neither contact his mum. Once a guy said I was playing games with him because I didn’t reply his two texts in 12 hours. Jesus Christ, I’ve never been good at the rules of those games, either good at remembering I have texts need to respond to when I am busy. No necessary stress, delete. I think the only ones who worth your “stress” are the ones you could build a family with. Other than that, life is too short to bother unless you enjoy the fun of guessing, worrying and over-thinking. It could be fun tho, much more fun than stressing over other more serious issues, work, family, society’s inequality and world affairs.
It’s true that women are still in a weak position in our society, and usually in a subordinated position in sexual relationships. “Carrie” on the self-absoption and self-consciousness would involve yourself in an ever weaker position. (Yes, I think every moves of Carrie in fact screams the fucked-up passive status of women). Living in a cosmopolitan city, the facts that annoyed every single woman include guys are being picky and not wanting something serious. I think if we, women, over-think those facts would lock us into a perpetual passive position. If a man has all the power and status, he has the right to be picky and proud. It’s just like when you have more credits on you card, you have the privilege to raise your budget on clothes and be picky too. Lots of guys do not want anything serious? I remembered once I was talking to a young stock broker who has a lovely girlfriend, he said he’s been really busy, hasn’t spent time with his girlfriend much, after work, he’s been studying for higher level CFA. He said, “I realise if I want to be successful in the future, I must work hard now.” I found that women tend to be self-absorbed+self-conscious at the same time in a vulnerable position and subordinate to men, be happy or sad according to the guys’ reactions. However, men are skilled at maintaining the balance between being selfish and not being self-centred. I swear I did join the conversation and complains with my girlfriends about issues such as why this guy doesn’t take me to a nice restaurant etc (This topic has naturally lead to the concern that “this guy doesn’t match my standard” as such). These repetitive topic would bore me to hell if I ever hear or join again. Don’t “carrie” on these complains at brunch with your girlfriends without reaching the solution to the problem. To the “he hasn’t take me to anywhere nice” issue, my friend solved it by not following those hell rules that make women remain the submissive one. She replied a text to the guy she’s been on dates for 5 times-“if you want to see me next Wednesday, book a table at Social Eating House.” and he did. “Carrie” on the talk, without the “do” would not let you find out if this guy meets your standard or not.
I seriously think Carrie is a very bad role model for women and a very bad friend that one could have. Carrie-type friend likes the IDEAL of friendship, but she cannot care about you or support you in the right way or positive way. Simply I think we shouldn’t let too much dramas involve in our life, it’s better to stay simple and stay foolish. Guessing and over-thinking would never help us to find the solution to the problems. Self-absorption and self-consciousness is a perpetual force that drives us to remain in a passive position. Life is short and too much going on, we should remain calm but do not “carrie” on.
@All rights reserved, “Midnight Neisense”
What even worse than a weak nation’s national security issue is women’s insecurity, this has a bloody domino effect which can easily affect the women next to you…
what even bigger than the ego of a super state is the a normal men’s ultra-ego, this also has a domino effect, a big ego showing off can easily affect the men next to you, he feels pressure to boost up his own ego by all kinds of means…
perhaps it is helpful to give the women next to you some compliments, a little bit compliment help to remove women’s insecurity; perhaps it is meaningful to not give men too much compliments, it help to make one know clearly about themselves…
however, the world is full of diplomatic chaos, “political” incorrectness and anarchical rules, thus it is normal for all of us to experience the turbulence that caused by women’s insecurity and men’s ultra-ego.